


what does it matter if i lie to you?

by blueseasandchestnuts



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (just a lil background reference), 5+1 Things, Getting Together, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26567953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueseasandchestnuts/pseuds/blueseasandchestnuts
Summary: Five lies and one truth — the Remus John Lupin edition.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	what does it matter if i lie to you?

**Author's Note:**

> For [swottypotter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swottypotter/)'s 10 Days of Healing — Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest. Day 2 – honesty. 
> 
> Many thanks to [pan_and_ready_to_stan](https://pan-and-ready-to-stan.tumblr.com/) for looking over this 💜

Most lies come easily. _Mum’s sick_ is a simple one, repeated often enough and not even _that_ untrue. After all, she is worried sick — and probably would still have been even if Remus had been an ordinary child, unplagued by pain and injuries and forced to grow up faster than he should’ve, even if the only thing wrong was her little boy lonely and homesick at boarding school. 

Some lies take a bit more effort. It’s harder to laugh and say _what do you mean, a werewolf, that’s silly_ when he’s painfully aware of the lengths he — and others — have gone to in order to hide such things and how it’s all for nothing. If a bunch of twelve-year-olds, however bright and observant they might be, can see through his careful excuses and connect the dots, if he can’t hide his secret successfully for a year, where does that leave him? 

Sometimes it’s only lying by omission and so it doesn’t _really_ count. Sure, it’s not Morally Right™ to put on a straight face and look with wide, surprised eyes at Professor McGonagall when she asks Remus if he knows anything about the soap bubbles flooding the Slytherin common room. Him saying “I was studying in the library all evening with Peter, Madam Pince told us off for being too loud, she can confirm” is technically not a lie. She didn’t ask specifically about James or Sirius or where _they_ got the idea or the spell from, did she?

Sometimes lying hurts and he thinks shrugging it off and pretending it’s fine is not exactly good for him, but what’s he gonna do? Recklessness and arrogance aren’t _new_ traits of character, they’ve always been there, he can’t say he didn’t know who his friends were. Friends forgive each other for their stupid antics, though, don’t they, and Remus knows he’ll get over it with time, so what’s the difference between saying _it doesn’t really matter, no one got hurt and he knew anyway_ now or saying it in a couple of months? 

There are also lies that are said subconsciously. _Marlene’s amazing, I’m happy for you_ , he says, and Marlene _is_ amazing, but he’s not happy for Sirius and Remus feels like the worst kind of friend. His chest is tight and twisted with an emotion he takes too long to recognise — and when he does, he spends too much time again foolishly thinking it’s Sirius he’s jealous of. 

Other times, lies are comforting and easy and safe. Times like this, when Sirius brushes his fingers along Remus’s jaw and looks at him with an intensity that makes his cheeks burn and him wanting to squirm and run and hide and pretend nothing’s different afterwards. Low risk, low reward. But he is _almost_ certain that he’s not reading this the wrong way, not projecting, not this time, and maybe going all in and being honest (for once) would pay off. So he smiles and leans into the touch for one second before he reaches up for a soft kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://blueseasandchestnuts.tumblr.com/)


End file.
